Wednesday, January 16, 2013

My thoughts on writing

There is never enough time in the day to read all the books I want to read and to write all the thoughts and essays I want to write. How does a girl like me house so many words? Truth be told: I can only house them for so long. Inevitably and eventually they must be released and this is why I write. The words and the stories that I house spill over onto the pages before me, and into the journals that I keep and on electronic documents that I save on my computer and external hard drive. I have a small drawer at home full of index cards and napkins filled with words and thoughts and ideas and memories that I scribble. These are the things I scribble about in the middle of my day or late at night as thoughts come to me. I save them because eventually they serve as inspiration. I save them because these are the thoughts that are teaching me something in that season and I save them because eventually these words become stories, my story, the stories I wanted to tell that I never talked about or wrote about because these stories are about learning the hard way, about having your aha moments later rather than earlier in life. I've discovered about myself that when I write, I'm writing the stories of my heart and this to me is necessary and important, like the air we breathe is necessary and important.  

There are seasons in my life where I could happily sit and write the day away. That almost always happens on a weekend, when I'm hungry to write. Those are my stay-at-home, drink coffee and tea, play soft music in the back round pajama days. This is one of those seasons where I could happily write all day long one day out of the weekend. Perhaps it's because its winter and the temperature outside is too cold for my liking. And perhaps it's because these days I'm trying to live life at the speed of slow, learning to push the pause button on life to soak in and relish all things and moments beautiful, and to live just slowly enough to really hear myself think because this year I've decided I want to live paying closer attention to my thought life. When I slow down, I hear my thoughts and when I hear my thoughts I have alot to write about.

During the winter months I enjoy the warmth and the coziness of my home and during the winter evenings, I enjoy being in yoga pants or pajamas pants like the very second I get home from the office. I'm not kidding; it is absolutely amazing how quickly I can get into those pants when I get home. [insert smile here] And when it's time to relax, time and schedule permitting, I enjoy lighting fragrant lavender candles and dimming the lights in the house and sitting in my large and comfy reading chair near the fire place to read by a near by lamp. I enjoy sitting there thinking and praying and penning my thoughts as well. I enjoy and love this like small children enjoy and love playing at the park.

If I could afford a one month sabbatical, I would take one in a heart beat. I would go away to a beautiful, warm, sunny place that mirrors paradise surrounded by magnificent nature filled with luscious greenery, the ocean for sure and watch the sun's disk disappear below the ocean's horizon at the end of each day. I would rise early to meet the day and catch the sun as it's rising to greet me with its glorious light and its dramatic brilliance and relish how the sun's brilliance makes me glow from the inside out. I would spend my days and nights reading and writing, thinking and dreaming until the light fades. I would release my words, my thoughts on paper and allow them to take on new form, a life of their very own. I would take nature walks and soak in the sunshine and drink green tea and listen for the voice of God in my breath, in the stillness of my being and in the nature before me. 

All of this is a beautiful dream, a lovely thought for sure. But I've learned that while a thirty day sabbatical is not in the cards for me in my immediate future, I can still experience moments and days like that. I can experience them here and there in different ways and on different days and in different seasons. It's beautiful to dream of extended periods of time doing what you know you were born to do but its equally as beautiful and wonderful to appreciate the here and now and to appreciate and to experience these moments when you can, even if it's only an hour, a day, a long weekend or a week away. 

Beloved reader, discover what it is that you love and do what you love the most, what makes you feel most alive for in discovering that, you will have discovered your purpose. Do what you were born to do because that is what becomes your life's work, the finger prints of love and the legacy you will leave behind.

Until next time, 

xx, Ruthie

Every secret of a writer's soul, every experience of her life, every quality of her mind is written large in her works. ~ Virginia Woolf