Sunday, December 5, 2010


This morning I spent some time reading several old journal entries that date back to 2001 through 2003. Those were bittersweet years for sure. It’s always an interesting experience to go back and read what I was feeling and thinking and experiencing in my past. When I read those entries from that time period, I discovered that I’ve grown significantly as a person, both emotionally and spiritually. Perfect I am not, I have not “arrived” but I certainly have grown significantly since then. Reading these entries reminded me that I’ve experienced great healing from past emotional wounds and survived and learned some really tough lessons. Reading these entries also reminded me that we’re always evolving and growing at some capacity. I’ve experienced some really sweet blessings through the years, and yes some struggles for sure. But I overcame each and every one of the struggles I wrote about. It’s incredibly interesting to read these entries and reflect on the past because at the time, the struggle and the pain associated with the struggle seemed so monumental, and so overwhelming. The struggle felt like a giant that I was sure would cause me to cave and die a slow death. Fortunately, it didn’t unfold that way. God, time, hope and my willingness to persevere helped me to over come each and every one of those obstacles. I’m so thankful for that. A wise person once said: “Anyone can give up. It's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, well that's true strength.” Today, I’m thankful that I’m an over comer and for the strength I’ve gained through my experiences. I don’t always feel so strong but I’m discovering that I’m stronger than I give myself credit for. Writing and reading what I write helps me remember that. And on a sweeter note, some of my entries reminded me of how sweet and delicious it is to be alive and to experience the sweetness of connectedness, connectedness to God, my friends, my family and some really special people in my life that have helped me along the way by just being part of my life. Their time, their love, their listening ears, their friendship, their words of wisdom and their prayers have helped me through some really tough seasons in life. I’m so thankful for them.

Dear God,

Thank you for each and every person you have allowed to come into my life and thank you for each and every experience in life. Some have been bitter, others sweet but in the end, they have shaped me and have made me who I am. At 43, I realize that everything happens for a reason. Good is good, in fact sometimes good is really very delicious and when the tough times come along, and they always do, you can and do bring good out of that too. I get that. I have a long history of that in my life. Thank you for your faithfulness. Thank you for bringing good out of my hardships. And thank you for never giving up on me. I don’t always get it right and for that I’m truly sorry. Thank you for bringing such wonderful people into my life. These special people bring out the best in me and I like bringing my best self to everything I do and every one I do life with. Thank you for all the beautiful moments I’ve experienced and still experience in life because they’re magnificent, delightful and lovely. I live for those moments and treasure those memories. They bring me great joy, sometimes uncontainable joy and I love that feeling. God, I’m so thankful that I’m finally grown up enough, maybe wise enough to appreciate and treasure the people in my circle and their amazing impact on my life. I’m thankful for all the wonderful moments, big and small that I experience. Sometimes great joy is experienced in what others might perceive as insignificant but to me, acts of kindness, thoughtfulness and meaningful gestures regardless of size or frequency are what touch souls.

God, please help me to always be the kind of woman who lives her life leaving nuggets of love behind doing small things with great love. I may not always do things really great but I know that I have the capacity to do small things with great love. Help me to love great always.

Mother Teresa once said: “Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls. A joyful heart is the inevitable result of a heart burning with love.” I love that quote! Most days, my heart is filled with joy and great gratitude, for life, people, things and that makes me feel wonderfully blessed. When my heart feels that good, life feels super rich and lavish. I love what joy produces and I love what it attracts.

Feeling incredibly thankful today. Thanks God!

My cup runneth over …

~ Ruthie