Sunday, June 23, 2013

Loss hurts

Yesterday was one of the hardest days ever for Michael and me. Our hearts broke in a way that we had never experienced before. Fifteen years ago, when my son Michael was ten, Simone our beautiful furry feline, who I affectionately called my sweet baby girl, entered our lives as a teeny tiny kitten. She was precious, always precious. And yesterday, we sadly, so sadly and with great difficulty said goodbye to this beautiful creature because she no longer had any fight in her. Her tiny, frail body had had enough. Sadly, her time was up and letting go was heart wrenching to say the least. Saying goodbye and letting go of a beloved pet is one of the hardest things you will ever do in your life. Leaving the hospital felt impossible and left a deep and pervasive ache in our hearts. 

As we left the animal hospital yesterday morning with broken hearts, and tear-filled eyes, I didn't know what to do with myself. I knew I didn't want to be home, it was just too hard and I knew I couldn't really spend the day in public or with anyone really because the tears never seemed to stop flowing. Shortly after I got home, my friend Melissa called me and we cried together as I shared my loss with her and shared how heart broken I felt. When the call ended, I drove myself to a local nursery which thankfully seemed pretty empty and I bought and planted some beautiful Daises in my front garden in loving memory of our sweet little Simone.  [see picture below]

The perennials I planted yesterday will grow back year after year and as they do, we will remember this beautiful little creature who entered our lives and captured our hearts. Because of her, we learned that the human heart has no limits when it comes to love. Pets are an amazing blessing. Simone helped expand my heart in a way that surprised me and in a way that unfolded beautifully through the 15 years we called her family, our sweet baby girl. 

Planet earth feels a little empty without her for sure and we miss her so much already. 

It's ironic you know, because I'm allergic to cats and I was allergic to Simone in the very beginning but eventually developed an immunity to whatever it was that caused me to become allergic. Over time, I was no longer allergic but today I confess to you that what I'm allergic to is her absence. 

It's never enough time when it comes to love, is it? Never.

I'm so thankful that God allowed us to love and care for this beautiful creature for 15 years and I'm thankful that in the end, the two people who loved her the most were with her. She was not alone. She died peacefully and gracefully and as hard as that was, because it wrecked me, it was also hauntingly beautiful. She will forever live in our hearts. Forever.

Rest in peace my pretty precious one. We never finished loving you ...

Daisies for Simone our beloved Russian Blue

Lady Simone.  May 1998 - June 22, 2013