2nd Annual Breast Cancer Awareness Day

Friday, October 26, 2012

Most people know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. And on Friday, October 26th, some of my colleagues and I hosted our 2nd Annual Breast Cancer Awareness Day at the office. It was a deliciously pink day at the office filled with sweet treats, information about breast cancer, some giveaways, great conversations and lots of pictures. See pics below. If you've been following me here for over a year, you might remember that we hosted our first event at the office last year. Click here to read about last years event. 

Many of my colleagues and friends helped me in so many ways. Thanks to my colleagues, we had plenty of food and they helped with decorating, setting up and clean up.

And much to my surprise, many women from different divisions within our company showed up with breakfast treats the morning of the event. From the kindness of their hearts, these women showed up with goods without being asked to help. That made my heart feel really good. What a blessing! Although our company has many different divisions, I was reminded on Friday that we really are one company and one family, who demonstrate one love for a good cause. 

One company, one family, one love!!! That's rich!

This year, I encouraged donations to the American Cancer Society and I'm happy to report that we raised $710 across multiple divisions! This is in addition to the approx $700 I raised two weeks ago when I participated in a 5k walk through the American Cancer Society. 

This is a cause that is very near and dear to my heart as I'm a breast cancer survivor. This fall I celebrate 3 years being cancer free, no small thing. I can't begin to express in words how thankful and grateful and blessed I am to be cancer-free. As a survivor, I feel like I have a responsibility to do something to help create awareness and to raise money to fight this nefarious beast. 

Hosting this event is one of the many things I do each year now to make a difference.  

The purpose of these events at the office is to equip women with information related to breast cancer and to shine a light on the importance of self-breast examinations and mammograms. Both helped me discover my breast cancer in the very early stages and that's what saved my life. Everyone walked away with a pink bracelet (my gift to my colleagues) and a pink ribbon lapel pin (compliments of the American Cancer Society) to shine a light on breast cancer awareness and to encourage them to get involved in the cause. 

I made some new friends that day and learned about and heard many stories about how breast cancer impacted their lives because breast cancer happened to their mother or sister, an aunt or a friend. Some survived, others didn't. As listened to their stories, I learned that one colleague lost her mother to breast cancer when she was only 13 and I think that's the story that gets me the most. I can't imagine ... 

Many people, including men wore pink on Friday and that made my heart smile every time I saw someone in pink. The support and love I felt and the hugs I received and gave that day made my cup overflow with gratitude. I work with a terrific bunch of people and Friday's event reminded me that people are always willing to get involved and to help make a difference. I'm really thankful for their support and their generous donations. 

Below you'll find some photos that were taken that day. It was a great day, one that I won't forget because it was filled with goodness, connectedness and I made some new friends through out the day. 

If you're among the many who helped that day, from the bottom of my heart, thank you! I can't describe how grateful I am for your love and support. I couldn't have done this without you!!!

And a special thank you as well to Jennifer Briggs, Regional Health Health Director at the American Cancer Society for sending me the pamphlets and the pink ribbon lapel pins. 

Oh! And congratulations to all eleven (11) raffle prize winners. Raffle prizes consisted of gift cards to restaurants: Jameson's Charhouse, Wildfire, and Bravo. Winners also won Muvico movie theatre tickets in groups of two. 

We made a difference on Friday and for that, I'm thankful. 

Enjoy the pics ...

Until next time, keep thinking pink! 

xx, Ruthie

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. ~Margaret Mead

October is all about PINK

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. It's almost hard to miss if you're a shopper or love watching television or football, not that I follow football but I've seen all the pink the players wear during the month of October because my friends and family ALWAYS point it out to me every year. And you know what? It makes my heart really glad that they do. 

I think men who wear pink are brave and confident and I personally think they all look great in a pink shirt. I'm noticing more and more men wearing pink through the years, even when it's not October and it always makes me think: Now there goes a man who is comfortable in his own skin. I like that kind of confidence. 

So yes, October is all about the PINK. 

And on that note, may I encourage you this month to think pink? To buy pink? To wear pink? You know, there really is strength in numbers and together we can make a difference. 

We can all make a difference through purchasing something "pink" or we can make a small or large donation to the American Cancer Society or any organization that is doing something to fight the good fight against breast cancer. 

I just celebrated my 45th birthday last week Monday and this fall marks my third year being cancer-free. Yes, I'm a breast cancer survivor. I don't usually get super emotional about my birthday but this year, I found myself crying that deep ugly cry the Sunday before my 45th birthday. I sobbed in deep gratitude for being alive and for God's goodness in my life. 

My life is far from perfect and lately I've been healing from a back injury but I'm still grateful because I see God's goodness and so much beauty everywhere. I think when you look for it, you see it, and you can appreciate it. And for that, I'm thankful. 

Until next time, I hope you'll buy something pink, wear a little pink, and or make a small donation to a charity that is doing something to fight this nasty, nefarious beast. 

Until there is a cure, God bless and as always, many thanks for stopping by.

xx, Ruthie

Breast Cancer Awareness Day at the Office

Friday, October 21, 2011

Many of you know that October is breast cancer awareness month (BCAM). And as a breast cancer survivor (2-yrs now), I've been giving alot of thought to how I can create awareness during the month of October with the people I do life with. Last month I created awareness and raised approximately $900 for the cause through City of Hope. The donations were made directly to City of Hope as I walked as a participant in a 5k walk. The walk is held every year near the office, at a near by park. This was my third year walking to raise awareness and to raise funds although this year, I think I ran most of it thanks to my bossy sister-in-law Evelyn who brilliantly insisted we try to run most it. Love you Evelyn! ... my knees, not so much. ; )

As a woman who works outside of her home, most of my waking hours during the week are spent at the office and in light of that, a brilliant idea was birthed a couple of weeks ago. I felt a prompting to host a breast cancer awareness day at the office, and yesterday was the BIG pink day. Coincidentally, I happened to pick a day that fell right in line with our annual Health Fair day which was quite perfect if you ask me. I didn't realize this until days after I sent my initial invitation to the women at the office. And what a fun day it was! It was also jeans day, a rare occasion for us in corporate, one that we look forward to when it happens. The prompting came to me in the form of a whisper, which I'm sure was all God. I love it when that happens. I followed through on this prompting because life is important. Your life, my life, our life is important and it has purpose and early detection is what saves lives. Putting it together in such a short amount of time should have felt overwhelming with my busy life but surprisingly, it wasn't. Everything came together beautifully and almost effortlessly. What a blessing! I think anytime you do something in the spirit of love and joy, the experience is always wonderful and blesses you and others richly. I purchased all the supplies within that two week window and decorated and set up the night before which gave me an opportunity to have short but meaningful conversations with the evening security guard Dave who stopped by during his rounds and with Isabella who is one of the Polish cleaning ladies at our office who hugged me tight after giving her a pink ribbon lapel pin and a pink bracelet. Dave is 74 and sadly lost his wife to cancer several years ago. : ( He shared her story with me and from what I could tell, he misses her terribly and loved her deeply. The look on his face made my heart feel sad to learn he lost his wife so early in life, he still has many good years ahead of him. I learned that he lives on his own, has four children and I trust that they look after him okay. Isabella and I always speak Spanish and Polish to each other. She's teeny-tiny, fit as a fiddle and buzzes around our office emptying waste baskets, cleaning, dusting, and vacuuming. She arrives to my office every day around 5pm and I greet her in Polish and she responds in kind but in Spanish. She's a lovely woman with a kind heart probably in her thirties I would imagine. Isabella taught me how to say "How are you" and how to respond in kind in Polish. Its so fun to greet the Polish cleaning crew in Polish before I leave the office when I work late. The looks on their faces are priceless. Their eyes always light up and they always smile, almost always in surprise when I speak to them in their native language. It's one of the best parts of leaving the office late most days. I've digressed here, haven't I? My apologies. 

The location of the breast cancer awareness event was just outside my office and I invited approximately 100 women I know at the office to stop by at their convenience between 8am and 4pm. I set up a couple of tables with delicious treats, mostly all sweet, pamphlets, flowers and of course pink balloons. The area was a sea of pink and you couldn't miss the pink helium balloons that hovered over the pink zone just outside my office. The American Cancer Society donated 300 pamphlets on breast cancer awareness, the importance of mammograms and why early detection saves lives. They also donated 100 pink ribbon lapel pins thanks to a lovely young lady by the name of Karen Perry who I met on Monday afternoon by chance who works for the American Cancer Society. Karen had the pink ribbon lapel pins in her car! Whoa! What are the chances of that happening??? Colleagues Veronica Ramos and Carmen Flores baked cupcakes and Toni Vargas, a fellow member of my team brought in bagels for the event. Veronica's passion is baking lovely, tasty and festive cupcakes and she literally jumped at the chance to bake for the event when I told her about my vision to create awareness. Tammy Hidalgo, another woman at the office surprised me with beautiful flowers to dress up the table. How thoughtful! Thank you ladies!!! Your thoughtfulness and contributions made the day perfect! So many of my friends at the office offered to help but I insisted that it wasn't going to be anything big and encouraged them to simply show up in pink for support and to pick up information (pamphlets) that morning.

Can I let you in on a little secret? I work for a really great company. And I'm not just saying that. It truly is a GREAT company for many reasons, but mostly because of the people. Companies are not just brick and mortar, people make companies great. And great people are a companies greatest asset and investment. I have the priviledge of working with a terrific bunch of talented and lovely people and I'm learning and relearning with each new opportunity how willing people are to help and to contribute to make a difference. When I shared what I was planning with my manager Kim Thomas, she suggested that I encourage those I invite to wear pink. Now isn't that brilliant? Why didn't I think of that???  Great suggestion! Thank you Kimberly!  When I shared what I was doing with our facilities manager Missy Kolbash, she decided on her own to send an e-mail to all the employees in our building asking if they would consider wearing pink on Friday, October 21st in honor of breast cancer awareness. Thank you Missy! Many people wore pink! I purchased additional breakfast treats to encourage people to stop by (food always helps) and gave out pink breast cancer bracelets, pens and pencils to create awareness and included the pink ribbon lapel pins that the ACS donated. One of my many favorite parts of Friday was a surprise I received. The ECS corporate finance and credit department surprised me with a lovely card, with lovely words yesterday morning congratulating me on being cancer-free two years now and raised $165 among themselves and gave that money to me to donate. Whoa! Do you see what I mean??? The money will be donated to the American Cancer Society (ACS) and to City of Hope. Thank you lovely people! As I write to you, my eyes well up with tears, tears of gratitude because of their goodness. And in the afternoon, we cut a cake to shine a light on those who are still fighting breast cancer, to admire the survivors and to honor those who left us too soon due to this horrible disease. Yesterday's event wasn't about raising money although it could have been. Yesterday was all about awareness. It was about raising awareness and shining a light on the importance of becoming aware and to learn and to share with others about breast cancer and early detection because early detection is what saves lives. It's what saved my life. The event was absolutely successful and the day was nothing short of fantastic! It felt like a BIG love fest. Scores of people wearing pink stopped by all day long. Some came in droves, others came on their own and for one day, we created a pink movement at our corporate office. I loved every delicious minute! Tom Bubulka another colleague of mine took many of the photos I'm including in this post and took a fantastic group photo. See below. Thank you Tom! My best friend Carlos came out to visit me during the lunch hour and drove me to pick up the cake in the afternoon. Thank you Carlos for recognizing how important this day was to me. You get me and I love that about you. Bless you! It was so wonderful to see so many people wearing pink. Even the men wore pink! How terrific! This was our 1st annual breast cancer awareness day at the office, our first of many I'm sure. I plan, with God's blessing and the support of others to do this again next year. My desire is to make it bigger, better and pinker and to make it easy and or easier for my co-workers to donate to this cause, even if it's a dollar that we collect from each person so we can make an online donation at the end of the day. Most people learn and remember through experiences and my desire is for people to walk away with a greater sense of awareness through this experience and to learn about early detection and breast cancer prevention because everyone deserves to live long enough to celebrate 100 birthdays.  As always, many thanks for reading. 

With a heart full of gratitude, 

~ Ruthie

"The table"

The cake

                                                

Cupcakes by Carmen Flores

 Isn't this a fantastic photo?

Veronica's festive cupcakes!

The invitation

My mantra

Stupid Cancer!

Stupid cancer. We all want a new car or a new phone or a new something but a person who has cancer only wants one thing. They want to live. They want to live long enough to celebrate 100 more birthdays and to see the sun set 36,000 more times. As a breast cancer survivor, I know all too well how that feels. I’ve met scores of people in the last two years whose lives and bodies were invaded by cancer. Cancer is incredibly intrusive and it has an ugly and exhaustive ripple affect on the person’s body.

My heart rejoices every time I learn that someone has beat cancer. That feeling is incredibly delicious. My message to all the survivors is: Hurrah! I’m so-o thrilled for you. And my message to those who are still fighting is: Don't quit! Never quit. Keep fighting! Keep praying. Keep hoping and keep believing. To those who left us too soon: You fought a good fight. You did your best. You will not be forgotten. And I promise I'll do all I can to create awareness and to fund research to find a cure. I'll do that until its time to meet my Maker.

So would I love a new phone? Sure. Would I love a new car? You betcha. But if I could trade those things for a world without cancer, I would do it in a heart beat.

The above video was a commercial I saw this evening while watching television. I was in the kitchen preparing dinner when the commercial aired. When I heard Ricky Martin's voice, it stopped me in my tracks and caused me to pause to watch and to listen. At first it made me smile because I love Ricky, his voice and how beautiful he is. I also smiled because it’s a happy song and also because I just celebrated a birthday on Saturday. Birthdays for me are no small thing. It's a gift to be here. I'm thankful for my gift and I live with gratitude every single day. I won’t deny that life isn’t always continuous bliss but there's always something to be thankful for, to be grateful for and to celebrate. The end of that commercial is what got to me. It tugged on my heart strings immediately. My eyes welled up with tears and I had this HUGE lump in my throat. It was instantaneous. I've played this video many times over and the end still gets to me. It gets to me because I feel like such a lucky woman. I feel so blessed. And I want EVERY ONE to feel and experience that kind of lucky, that kind of blessing.

Would you do be me a favor? Will you join me and pray for a world without cancer?

Until next time,

~Ruthie

The Day I learned I had Cancer

Journal Entry: Written on Friday, October 2, 2009

My note to God, 9-28-09.

During the spring of 2009, I discovered a small yet pronounced lump in my right breast. It wasn't visible to the human eye but I could certainly feel it when I rolled my fingers over it. I really wasn't nervous when I first discovered it either. I remember thinking that it was probably fatty tissue or calcium deposits ... something but not cancer. I felt the lump for the first time in May 2009 and it wasn't until late June that it really sunk in and I realized that this was a real lump and could potentially be a serious matter. I concluded in that moment that this deserved professional attention and scheduled an appointment to see my doctor the first week of July.Two mammograms later on Friday, August 28th, I found myself having the lump biopsied because the mammograms indicated that the lump wasn't normal. The biopsy confirmed that the cells in the lump were abnormal and that this lump was the pre-cursor to cancer but thankfully it wasn't cancer. I was also told that the lump needed to be removed to avoid the development of cancerous cells. So on Thursday, September 24th, on my 42nd birthday, the birthday girl had a lump removed from her right breast. Even though I had to under-go surgery on my birthday, I still felt pretty lucky and incredibly thankful that the lump was not cancerous and that we could do something about this before cancer happened. I remember thinking: Good job Ruthie. It's good that you went in to see the doctor when you did. This is good. Sure, a Lumpectomy is going to suck, but it's not cancer so hurrah! 

At 12:20pm on Monday, September 28th, I got the call. My surgeon called me with the test results from my Lumpectomy. He said he would call around noon that day and he did. Unfortunately it was not the news I had hoped to hear. The lump that he removed was still benign but he told me that they found cancer in my breast. Ductal Carcinoma in-Situ is what he called it, also known as DCIS. The word in-Situ means contained. The cancer was found in tissue next to the lump that was removed. The pathology report indicated that the cancer appears to be contained but he said that he wouldn’t know for sure until they biopsy a few lymph-nodes near my right breast. He added that I need one more surgery to remove additional tissue in my right breast to see if they can get clean margins (clean/uncancerous tissue) which would help determine if my cancer had spread to other areas. It also helps determine what stage the cancer is in. He recommended another incision near my right arm pit to have a few lymph-nodes removed during this surgery to be biopsied. The main lymph-node is called the sentinel node and he wanted to remove that node in addition to a few other nodes to determine if my cancer has spread to my lymphatic system. My head dropped and my heart sank when I heard him say “one more surgery.”  And I didn't like having to hear that he couldn't tell me with certainty that my cancer was contained. My right breast was still so sore and tender and it still ached and throbbed from the Lumpectomy just four days earlier. In that moment, I couldn’t imagine having one more surgery. The thought of one more surgery seemed unbearable, unimaginable and left me feeling terribly sad and afraid that my cancer had spread. The hard reality that cancer had invaded my body was a difficult truth to accept. I couldn’t understand how this was happening. How did this happen to me??? This is the kind of stuff that happens to other people, I thought. And when you hear about it, your heart feels sad for them and you visit them and hold their hand and pray for them but you never imagine cancer happening to you. 

My surgeon is a kind man with an incredibly calm demeanor. And he was incredibly patient with me on the phone as I asked what seemed like a million questions. Gosh, what a tough thing to have to do. It has to suck to have to deliver such horrible news to someone. I can't imagine how many times he's had to make a call like that. Does it ever get easy I wondered? He told me that I will likely have many more questions before we meet again and encouraged me to write them down. I'm scheduled to see him on October 3rd for my post-op appointment. He added that he'll address any and all questions I have regarding my diagnosis and next steps when we meet and that he'll give me all the time I need. He also shared with me that together, we'll schedule my next surgery when I see him and that during this visit, he’ll recommend a Radiation Oncologist and an Oncologist to follow up with for treatment. I needed to hear the word "together" because in that moment, it made me feel less alone. When cancer happens to you, you feel so alone. Nothing about cancer feels normal. And nothing in life has prepared me for this moment.

So how did I feel that day?  .... Incredibly sad for sure. Sad because I knew the days ahead would be tricky and nothing short of unfamiliar. All of the sudden, things felt uncertain in life. I remember feeling really sad for my family. And I felt deep sadness for my son. I remember thinking: I'm his biggest cheerleader. This can't be happening. I can't go anywhere, not yet at least. I also remember thinking that my son and I have endured and survived so much already. Now this? Cancer? Really??? ...  I was in shock to say the least. I felt dismayed, disheartened and terribly confused that this was even happening to me. What could God possibly be up to? I know God didn't cause my cancer but He did allow it and I know there's purpose in everything we endure in life. On the phone I remained remarkably composed. And even though the surgeon's voice and his words were clear, they didn't seem all that clear to me because who comprehends cancer? My brain felt foggy and my heart sank and lurched to hear the words: You have cancer, Ruth. Oh my gosh ...I have cancer, I thought to myself. At this juncture in my life, that was by far the most surreal moment I had ever experienced. I think I needed someone to pinch me in that moment because I was in a state of disbelief. I remember my ears ringing during that conversation. I think that was shock setting in. That feeling was so weird. I recall the surgeon telling me something about my diagnosis being treatable or maybe even curable with local management. And to that, I wondered: what does that even mean? How long will it take? And does it come with a guarantee? At the end of our conversation, I remember thanking him for calling with a soft and polite voice. When the call ended, there was a short pause, then a deep breath, then suddenly an explosion of emotions. There were many tears. The tears were projectile in nature and gargantuan in scale and over flowed in an uncontrollable manner. The tears didn't end for a really long time it seemed but in actuality I think I cried hard, really hard for 15 minutes straight on. I cried so hard, I could hardly breathe. Have you ever cried that hard? Ugh ... It's quite horrible. It's an anguish I don't wish upon anyone. It's such an awful feeling. When someone cries that hard, you're crying from the deepest recesses of your soul. At this point, I had my head down on my desk and I just sat and I sobbed. I sobbed in deep sadness, but I think I also sobbed in gratitude because we think; [I hoped] my cancer was caught early. I cried, "Oh God please let this be the early stage of cancer!" To sob was all I could do in that moment. I didn't have any brilliant words or brilliant thoughts to console myself. I couldn't even pray really, not yet at least. All I could do was cry and cry some more. In that moment, I was inconsolable. It was that big ugly cry, you know the one that only happens when deep sadness enters your world uninvited and unexpectedly. That news pierced me. What's perplexing and quite interesting is that my gut didn't prepare me for this. I almost always have a clammy feeling when something is going to go horribly wrong. I felt pretty certain that my news would be good and that I would be okay and that life as I knew it would go on. After all, I had a birthday I still needed to celebrate because I had spent my 42nd birthday days earlier at the hospital, having breast surgery. Imagine my surprise to learn that cancer had taken up residency in my body. It felt harsh and it felt cruel. In boxer terminology it felt like someone had just hit me below the belt. It didn't seem fair and it didn't seem right. On that day and in that moment, I remember thinking: Oh how I wish the phone would ring just one more time and have it be my surgeon telling me that he had made a terrible mistake, to please forgive him and that I really don't have cancer. If he called I remembering thinking, I could forgive him. After all, mistakes happen, right??? ...  But the phone never rang. {sigh} ...

The tears finally ended and when they did, I felt exhausted. I was completely drained and felt terribly confused. I remember thinking: What's happening to my life God? My face was red and wet from all the tears I had shed and my nose was terribly stuffy. I was struggling to breathe from my nose because I had cried so hard and for so long. In the moment I was a hot mess and desperately needed Kleenex and comfort and rest for sure but mostly, I needed God to rescue me. I needed and still need Him to come and heal me. I felt too exhausted and totally overwhelmed to do any real research that afternoon. I remember carefully crawling into bed coddling a very sore and tender breast due to surgery just days earlier. I curled up in a fetal position, feeling incredibly vulnerable and praying with tears falling out of my eyes pleading with God to please hear my cry for help and to please be with me during this journey. If there was ever a time I needed Him, I needed Him now. I confessed and admitted that I've been needy in the past when things were hard, when life was hard and scary but I also admitted that nothing, absolutely nothing in life has prepared me for this. I reminded Him [like He needs reminding] that for some people cancer shouts: Game over! I told Him I don't want my game to be over. I pleaded with Him and told Him that I can't do this without Him. I'm not that strong I confessed. But I know that He can make me strong. I know this because I have a L-O-N-G history of His faithfulness in my life. I asked Him to please give me strength for my journey and to please, PLEASE spare me from death anytime in the near future because I'm not ready. I'm too young I pleaded and I love life too much. This is awful I remember thinking. I remember feeling a bit desperate. It felt like it was too much to bear. I could feel my heart beating and my chest felt heavy. But I know that I don't have to bear this alone. On that day and even today as I write to you, deep down inside, I know that no matter how difficult the days ahead will be, I still have a God who loves me, who won't leave me and who won't abandon me. The Bible says that He will never leave us nor forsake us and that if we draw near to Him, He will draw near to us. I believe that with all my heart and I need to keep believing that in spite of how I might be feeling in the days ahead. It's time to exercise faith muscles. I'm inviting Him into this process. After all, He's still in control and I know that He loves me so I'm going to keep trusting Him. I still have my faith and the love and support of my beloved friends, my beautiful family and my amazing prayer warriors who pray fervently [really, they do] and I know that this is just one more bump in the road that must be traveled. Today I'll admit that I have more questions than answers and that I don't really understand why cancer happens and why it happened to me but what I know for sure is that I know the One who does and I know that God will use this for something good. I'm believing in that. I also know that I am not alone. I am loved and for now that is enough.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

~Hebrews 11: 1

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. ~Romans 8:28

   
Note inserted Monday, September 5, 2011:

I'm happy to report that today; I'm cancer-free and incredibly grateful for that gift. It wasn't an easy journey but I got through it. It took 18 long months and five surgeries after my biopsy in August 2009 to get through my treatments and all the complications by body experienced due to medication and treatment. God, my friends and my family were all there to help me. Thank you friends and family! I'm so thankful for you! Life isn't always easy, it's hard sometimes, really hard but its always worth living. Here's my confession: After my radiation treatments ended in December 2009, and as grateful as I was to be alive, I can't deny that sometimes it felt like a daily challenge to trust God because there were so many crazy complications that kept surfacing. Let's be frank, sometimes its super hard to trust God with the unknown in our lives. Most of the time, and most days, nothing made sense to me. There were days, many days, I feared that my cancer would return. I didn't understand why my body was failing me. And I missed feeling healthy. And every where I turned, fear kept rearing its ugly head but I fought hard against it with prayer because I refuse to live my life governed by fear. In fact I know I don't have to live with fear or be governed by it because God's word says in 2 Timothy 1:7 ... For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline. During that season in my life, God used my friend Tony to help me remember this verse. In fact, every time I read this verse, it reminds me of him. Bless you Tony and thank you! And by the way, did you know that the Bible says "Fear not" 365 times? Yes! ... 365 times! I bet its written that many times because God knew in advance that the spirit of darkness would tempt us to live in fear. God not only calls us to live fearless lives but he encourages us many times over through his word in the tune of 365 times (verses). 


Here's what I've been learning about difficulties: When God does not remove a difficulty from our life, He's not punishing us. He allows difficulty to take place and He allows us to endure the difficulty for however long, to refine us, not define us. Read that sentence again if you have to. I've also learned that He provides us with just enough strength and grace and mercy to get us through our difficulties. I remember reading a quote several years ago that really stood out to me. You've probably read it too. The quote read: the only way out is through. Friends that is so true. Sometimes the only way to learn the lessons, or to become better, or to be refined is "through." There's no doubt that the difficulties in my life have shaped my character. I hope and pray that I'm becoming my best self and that I'm becoming the woman God created me to be because of them. Friends, life isn't always hard and it doesn't always have to be hard but when it is, lean on God. He wants us to be our best selves and He wants us to live our best lives. And He'll provide strength, grace and mercy for your journey. He also wants us to live our lives trusting Him for all things and believing Him for all things. I would be remiss if I didn't share this last thing with you. This is my final confession. My cancer journey helped me to discover things about myself, things that were good and honestly some things that weren't so good, things that I needed to work on. I'm working on them. I haven't overcome all of those things that need to be worked on but I can honestly say that I'm at least "aware" and honestly, in life sometimes, that's half the battle. Today, I'm doing the hard work of working through those things one at a time and as I'm getting "through," God is blessing me with enough grace until I overcome. I'm thankful for that. 


Friends, I'm so grateful for what I'm learning in life. Because of cancer, I've learned to live with gratitude in new and fresh ways. In spite of my imperfections, and in spite of hard days, I've learned to live EACH day with gratitude because its a gift that I'm even here today! Being diagnosed with cancer and living cancer-free and getting "through" has reminded me to cherish my life and to give God thanks in all things. Notice that I didn't say "for" all things but in all things. Cancer taught me to celebrate life in a new way. It reminded me that big moments are worth celebrating but it also taught me that small moments and small mile stones are worth celebrating too. When you're battling cancer, you quickly learn to celebrate small milestones. So today I live with gratitude and I live and love well. And my message to you today is to live with gratitude and to live and love well because life is a precious gift. Please allow my story to help you realize that life can change with a single phone call. Please allow my story to help you cherish your life in a new and fresh way. Laugh and celebrate big and small moments. Forgive and ask for forgiveness. And when you forgive, don't forget that its equally important to forgive yourself. Did you hear that dear one? Forgive yourself. Let yourself off the hook. I think sometimes the hardest person in life to forgive is yourself. Here's what I've learned about humanity and the wounds that we receive and the wounds that we cause: Hurt people hurt others. Sometimes its intentional and sometimes its not. If you've hurt someone, whether it was intentional or not, that action came from a place of pain. The symptom of pain is anger and your anger is what caused you to hurt another human being. And if you've been hurt, that action also came from a place of pain. Someone else had pain that they were carrying which surfaced in anger and caused them to hurt you either directly or indirectly, intentionally or not. I have to say that when I learned that, that was an aha moment for me and it helped me to forgive others and it also helped me to forgive myself. So choose forgiveness because healing always follows forgiveness. And when there is forgiveness there is peace. And when there is peace, you sleep better and life feels richer. When I was a teenager, my mother use to tell me that "God don't make no junk." And that's how she said it too. My mom has an adorable broken American-English accent. When my mother said those words to me, she was reminding me that in spite of my mistakes, I'm still a person of value. We're all people of value not because of our accomplishments or where we live or how we live but because of who we are. We're people of value because we were made by a holy God who loves us endlessly, and unconditionally, flaws and all. Let's mark that on our hearts today. 


A final note of gratitude:


Thank you Mom for reminding me that I'm a person of value regardless and for teaching me that people matter. Thank you for teaching me about God and Jesus whom I affectionately called "Papa Dios" when I was a little girl. Papa Dios means "Father God" in English. And thank you for being my caregiver during my cancer journey. Mama's are so special and you are one special lady. I'm so grateful and thankful that you were here with me. I felt less alone, more comfortable, and more loved. You prayed for me, you sat with me, you cooked for me, you cleaned for me, and you did my laundry. You took good care of me. I can't imagine having survived all of that without you. Thank you! And bless you. And a special thank you to my son Michael for hanging in there and for loving me and for helping in so many different ways and for remaining strong in the midst of our difficulty. We got through it! Thank you friends and family for your contribution during my cancer journey. It meant and still means so much to me. Your love, your prayers, your trips with me to the hospital, your visits, your cards and gifts and encouragement all made a difference. Thank you! And a BIG thank you to God, my Papa Dios for always being there, for being my comforter, my friend, my strength and my healer. I'm lost without you and any and all goodness in me today is because of you. God does some of His best work through people and it was during my cancer journey that I discovered how much my friends and family love me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being the hands and feet of Jesus and for making a difference in my life, especially when I needed you. My cup runneth over ...   

Until next time, 


~Ruthie

Plant it Pink!

As a breast cancer survivor and as a woman who absolutley loves pink tulips, I would be remissed if I didn’t share the following with you:

The Plant it Pink Northshore Campaign is aimed at informing Illinois residents about the need for advocacy in the fight against breast cancer and to raise the funds necessary for the ACS CAN (American Cancer Society Cancer Action Network) to continue its lifesaving work by the planting and blooming of Pink Impression tulips.

For a $20 minimum contribution, you will receive a membership to the ACS CAN and 10 pink tulip bulbs to plant in honor of those diagnosed with breast cancer.

For more information and to make your contribution, please visit: http://www.acscan.org/events/view/event/1237

Isn't this a super cool idea??? I love it, love it! Tulips always signal the first sign of spring, and next spring, I hope to see a sea of pink tulips. :o)

Thank you in advance for taking the time to read and to consider this! 

Wishing you a spectacular day!!!

Until next time,

~Ruthie

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Gardening Tulips:

• Tulips should be planted in the fall at a 6” depth.
• While the hole is exposed, apply bone meal over the top of the tulip bulb and then cover with soil. Water the bulb like you would a summer flower.
• Tulip bulbs need to set their roots over winter to produce a good show. A proper root system is very important for the life of the tulip bulb.
• In the spring once the flower head has flowered, remove the flower head leaving the stalk. When the green stalk turns completely brown, cut it at ground level. The flower stalk takes in sunlight (the process of photosynthesis) enabling the plant bulb to reproduce again next year.

What Breast Cancer Taught Me

And then the day came, when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~ Anais Nin, Danish diarist

Up above is a quote that I referenced in my journal last year on August 13th which was the month before I learned I had breast cancer. I'm cancer-free now and ridiculously thankful. I was reviewing some of my journal entries from last summer last night and this quote really popped out at me and got me thinking about how radically different I feel today. I wouldn’t say that my life has been characterized or confined by remaining tight in a bud. Sure, I’ve had my seasons when I have felt hurt, fragile, confused and a bit broken and I can’t deny that those seasons wreck me a bit and cause me to walk more cautiously, to be more guarded but to park myself in a tight bud, well that’s not something I ever plan on doing.

I have to say that beginning with mid August of this year, I’ve become quite ravenous about everything and I feel like I’m blossoming in new ways. I have such a rich appreciation for so many people and things and experiences. I’ve met some fantastic people along the way and have experienced some really wonderful and beautiful moments that I will cherish for a lifetime. I’ve even taken up salsa (dancing) lessons which is something I have wanted to do for so many years. I’m really having fun with that and I’m glad and thankful that I finally signed up!

Cancer my friend is such a horrific word and such a nasty disease, really. It's absolutely nefarious with a capital N!  I’m thankful that we caught my cancer in the very early stages but if its not caught early, the fight takes every thing you’ve got to beat it and regardless of when it’s discovered, cancer invades your body, your life and everyone around you in unexpected ways. It’s not always awful because good and beautiful can still be experienced in the midst of adversity. Last night, I was thinking about what breast cancer has taught me. It’s changed me in really good ways and I wanted to share with you just some of the things that I scribbled down as I pondered what I learned. Below you’ll find my list.

1. Breast cancer taught me to be more grateful and to find something every day to celebrate.
2. It’s taught me to live fully alive, and created a new desire to be very present in every moment.
3. It taught me to love more deeply and to love more richly.
4. It taught me to say I love you more often.
5. It taught me to be more grace-filled, and more forgiving.
6. I learned that I’m deeply loved by many and I so appreciate their display of love and affection in my life.
7. I’ve learned to care for myself in better ways by eating healthier and exercising more often.
8. I learned how valuable it is to have amazing friends and family in your corner walking the journey with you.
9. I learned to appreciate little things. And I have to say, those little things bring me great joy! Appreciation is a wonderful perspective and a great way to live.
10. I learned to say thank you to EVERYONE for being a character in my story, good or bad, it has served me well. Every experience has taught me something.

Tomorrow we celebrate Thanksgiving with friends and family. For me, it will be a quiet intimate afternoon and evening with a small but beloved group of people I call family. Tomorrow will be more than just about giving thanks to God for His goodness in and on my life, but for second chances too. Tomorrow I will celebrate and be thankful for the woman I have become and the woman who is yet to be discovered because experiences shape us every day and I trust and hope and pray that I become every bit of the woman God calls me to be.

And before I end this reflection, I want to thank my friends and my family for being part of my life, for being a character in my story. Thank you for everything, thank you for being YOU! A brilliant writer once wrote: “When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate.” I trust that you’re in a sweet season in life so you can say thank you and celebrate how lavish it is to be alive.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Diseases can be our spiritual flat tires - disruptions in our lives that seem to be disasters at the time but end by redirecting our lives in a meaningful way.          ~Bernie S. Siegel

 

Fighting Breast Cancer

Fighting breast cancer was never something I ever had to do alone. I'm so-o thankful for that. I felt closest to God and felt His love and protection and the love and support of so many dear friends and family members during that season.

People tell me all the time that I'm lucky but I feel like I'm more than lucky. I feel really blessed and I know that I’m God's girl. It's wonderful to feel it but its more delicious to know it, to really believe it. I was and still am incredibly blessed and grateful to have had an entire team of amazing, loving and wonderful people in my corner. That kind of love and support makes my heart feel really full. My cup runneth over... ♥