Seasons

This morning I spent a significant amount of time thinking and dreaming and praying about what lies ahead. Today's the first day of Fall, so what an appropriate thing to do as we enter into a new season. This morning, I also thought about some of the other seasons in my life. There have been many times in my life when I have felt small, and fragile, and broken and scared. Those seasons almost always begin with great disappointment. Those have been my darkest hours in life. And every time I survive a season like that and get to the other side, I'm reminded that the more fragile I felt, the stronger I was because God's grace is absolutely and always sufficient and because His strength is made perfect in my weakness. I'm reminded that when I am weak, He is strong. When I can't, He can. I'm reminded that greater is He within me than any obstacle I am facing and that if I invite God into the process, He is my helper and my healer and my comforter. God is my tear dryer, my heart healer and my soul keeper. I'm reminded that God is able, He is always able my friend. I'm so very thankful for that and I can't imagine my life without Him.

These tough seasons in my life always come with choices. Some of the choices are: I can either choose to become bitter and consumed or I can choose to become better. I always choose better. Sometimes it takes me a while to surrender my pain and let God be God but in the end, I always choose better. I choose better because it honors Him and because I truly want to be every bit of the woman God calls me to be. I want to improve, and learn and grow and walk humbly before God and yes become a better me. The wonderful thing about free-will is that we can choose to be the kind of person we want to be and I choose better not bitter. I choose love and peace and forgiveness and I choose doing it God's way because it’s always the best way. It’s always within our power to choose and to be the best person we can be, the best person God wants us to be. So today, my prayer for you is that you too will choose well (better) in whatever season you're in.

Happy first day of Fall!  May you always fall forward, with love in your heart and into the arms of the One that will carry you through each and every season in life.

Wishing you peace and wholeness always,

~Ruthie

Farewell to Grandpa (Abuelo)

My Dad's father passed away yesterday. His name was Ceferino and he was 93 yrs old. He died a month before his 94th birthday. He lived in Puerto Rico with his wife, my grand mother who he was married to for 75 years. They were so blessed to be able to live independently in their home together. Tomorrow my family will say their final good bye's to Abuelo as they lay his body to rest. I wrote him a letter, my final letter because I'm not able to fly to Puerto Rico to be there but my family will be present and the letter will be read at the cemetery on my behalf before he's buried. Below you'll find my final words to Abuelo, an extraordinary man who made everyone feel so special. 

Dear Abuelo,

I am so very sorry I couldn’t be with you during your final moments.  But I know you were not alone and more importantly, I know that you’re in a better place now, our true home and that brings me great comfort.  Abuelo, Lourdes wrote to me yesterday and shared with me that she went to visit you at the hospital the other day with her sister Ivette and father. She shared that she and her sister held your hand and caressed your face during their visit with you.  She said that you were very much conscious but could tell that your time had come. Oh Abuelo, I hope you felt those tender touches and I pray that they comforted you and reminded you that you meant the world to so many people. She added that she thanked God for knowing you and for how well you loved her Grandmother, your sister Toya. She shared with me that you were such a good man and that you were so loved.  I knew that already but it was so wonderful to read. Abuelo, you were so easy to love.  You had a special gift that was distinct and so set apart. You knew how to love well and show that love. You had a servant’s heart and I loved that about you. You loved your wife, our Grandmother unconditionally and so beautifully. You showed it in such marvelous ways and showed up every single day and raised three fine men, your sons whom I refer to as my very dear uncles and my wonderful Papi (father).  Abuelo, your eyes had a way of lighting up when someone walked into the room or came to visit you. And your voice always expressed genuine joy to hear from someone when they called. Everyone who knew you, felt loved by you. We love you so much and we miss you already. Planet earth feels a little empty without you and your love. I pray that you will carry our love for you and our smiles with you always. We will never forget you. Never, ever! Thank you for being such a wonderful example of love and for being such a bright light in our family. You have left an indelible mark in our lives and in our hearts. We will love you forever!

Your granddaughter,

Ruthie

In loving memory of my Abuelo, Ceferino Rivera.  June 15, 1916 - May 20th, 2010.

Nothing but a breath, a comma separates life from life ever lasting. Death is not a period, nor exclamatory or even a semi colon. Death is a pause as one transitions from this life to the next.